Greek Feet and Spas

It will be a true miracle if I am fit for normal company after my brother’s visit. I had forgotten what a wacky dude he is, and sharing 300 square feet with two boys for two weeks is surely ill-advised. But, once I got over the initial onslaught of Beavis and Butthead-esque jokes, I quickly started to have a really great time.

On day two, while we were eating olives, he was drinking a beer, and I was sipping wine, David said, “Come on, when was the last time we spent this much time together?” I guessed 1997…or 1994…we weren’t sure, but I’m glad to have this chance to get to know David better and to share some European Adventures with him, though I think we are both a little curious about how this “family time” will go.

Yep, the unofficial Mayor of Chesterton is here in Paris. We’re trying to get a state dinner set up, but we’re not sure that we have room in our schedule, even if the wine would no doubt be good. You know how busy visiting heads of state can be--just ask my brother. As he stood outside of the Louvre and I snapped a photo he declared that "it only made sense for the Polish Prince to visit a French palace." Yes, he really is that absurd.

We did an abbreviated version of “Paris Highlights” tour for the first two days and then skipped right to the good stuff. Yesterday, we saw Pere Lachese—the famous cemetery; today we saw the catacombs—the site of hundreds of thousands of bones from Paris throughout the years all artfully displayed 50 feet below ground. We stopped on the way home for a pastry though, so the day wasn’t entirely death-themed.

Josh told David that tbhe two themes of his visit will be “Shut up and eat it” and “Damn that’s old”. In the “Shut up and Eat it” category, we started with cheese, which is going remarkably well. He did object to one saying it smelled “like Greek Feet”, which may or may not be true (having never smelled such feet), but it was a cheese that was a little much even for Josh and me, so that was fair. We figure pate and other meat products are still on the To Do list.

In the “Damn that’s old” category, we’ve enjoyed showing David roman ruins, Notre Dame (which we assured him was actually build before the lovely football school in Indiana) and other historical sites. I think he’s honestly amazed by what he’s seen and when we’re not cracking jokes, I think we’re all learning a little bit more about Paris and each other.

Other highlights of the first few days of David’s tour:

1.) Determining if any French people (or vehicles) are actually bigger than David

2.) Josh taking David to the last public urinal, which is outside of a prison


3.) Drinking various beers at numerous cafes


4.) Catching up on the latest news from the Indiana electricians' union


5.) Snarfing Greek Sandwiches (which seem to have no resemblance to Greek Feet) on the street


6.) Sleeping until noon every day

1. 7.) Hearing David’s ongoing commentary on French women, which seems overwhelmingly positive

8.) Deciding whether we are going to visit a spa this weekend

I know the spa may not seem to fit, but I think it will be amusing, if not entirely relaxing. Our other Pluta Family European adventures will include a trip to Girona, Spain and Andorra—one of the smallest countries on earth, which is reachable only by bus from Spain or France. I agreed to the four-hour bus ride if I could go to the aforementioned spa, with David and Josh as escorts. If we don’t get deported, it will be fun.

When I asked David after dinner if we should have some quality conversation, he looked at me like I was a moron and said he had a book to read. I said just as well because I had some work to do and maybe in the end, 300 square feet is more than enough room, and we may even agree to do this again in another few years.

sPg