As I was rocking Amelia to sleep tonight, the one word that kept coming to mind was “savoring." I feel like that is the one word to describe how I go about my hours, days, weeks, and now months with our little Amelia. I just don’t want to miss a thing, and even in those few moments where my eyes seem so incredibly heavy for lack of sleep, I find myself wanting to just soak it all in. I have heard “the days are long, but the years are short,” and at four and half months, I can already sense the truth in that adage.
So, yes, our little girl is nearing five months old. She is squarely a baby now rather than an infant or, to put it differently, and as I’m prone to say, “she’s entirely less blobby now”. She coos, squeaks, laughs, and has endless staring contests with whoever is around.
She is also our pink bombshell since it seems that about 95 percent of her clothing is pink and there is no doubt that she loves her some breastmilk, from the source please. I think her little personality is starting to show and I predict that she will be a serious and inquisitive little girl. She also still has her blue eyes, but I’m not yet convinced she’ll keep them.
I have also started to sense that just as our little girl is slowly evolving into who she will be, I am continuing to evolve into the type of mother I will be. It continues to be a transition that feels easier than I expected in so many ways, but unexpectedly difficult in others. The business of parenting—whereby I wake up already at a dead sprint and seem to collapse into bed after completing 30 “baby tasks”--hasn’t generally been as difficult or as tedious as I expected. I would even go so far as to say I am having fun.
Coping with a sore back, aching wrist, and ongoing scheduling negotiations has been harder than I expected. Finding a willing and responsible adult to spend time with Amelia so Josh and I can remember what it's like to be husband and wife (and not just mom and dad) has been gratefully easy due to kind offers by many generous friends and relatives. Finding time to get my hair cut and colored or my eyebrows waxed is a lot harder than it used to be. Dealing with all the details of continuing to breastfeed while also working full time hasn’t been too difficult, but finding time to wash bottles still feels like finding a needle in a haystack. Riding the bus seems remarkably smooth, even with a stroller, but not having the option to just hop into a taxi (since we haven’t figured out yet how to safely put the car seat into the older cars that the cabbies inevitably drive) is one of the biggest life adjustments we've had to make.
I have also realized that I am happily evolving into a fairly low-key mother, which is pleasantly shocking. Even a dear friend said, “You know Sara, I thought you were going to be a lot more neurotic than you are.” I honestly couldn’t agree more. I guess I am finding that just as my “spidey sense” guided me and served me well in pregnancy, it continues to serve me well as we tackle issues from when should Amelia start solid foods (not yet) to what should she eat when she does eat (probably chicken, almost certainly not rice cereal) to when she go to bed (probably a bit later than "typical”). Now don't get me wrong--I don’t want to give away my right to be a crazy, obsessive mom, but I just haven’t quite found the right time or place for it yet. Maybe I’m saving myself up for her school years or for her toddler years.
And so here I end. Its just before 10PM and a few more chores remain to be done—and number one on my to do list is to go peek at that beautiful sleeping little girl of mine just one more time.
Still savoring,
sPg
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